Well, I am home now. We left South Africa last Sunday and we arrived in Atlanta on Tuesday. We stayed there one day, and did more debriefing as a team, and then flew home Tuesday morning. These were some of the hardest goodbye's I've ever had to do. Especially with my South African friends, not knowing if I will ever see them again. As a team we have gone through A LOT, and when you go through troubled times together, you usually grow even closer. It was really scary to separate from everyone. I felt exposed and unsure of what the world was going to bring.
Here I am a week later doing ok. Today is the four week mark of the accident and Sarah's death. With each passing day I feel more and more at peace. It also seems to become more real to me and make more sense, the more I talk about it with people. We had the opportunity to hang out with Sarah's mom and little sister when we were in Atlanta. They flew in for the day. That was such a sweet time. They are an incredible family! They are pointing to God's glory in the middle of this tragedy, and they reek of the joy of the Lord. It was so encouraging. We have all had to make the choice to point to God in this, and to make an impact in the kingdom with Sarah's life and death.
I want to quickly tell you about our outing with the girls that we were able to do before we left. I am not sure if you are aware of this but I sent out an email asking for people to pray about giving some money to love on the girls that I've been working with at the home. Within 24 hours we had ample money to take them out and to buy them new bras and panties! (If you are interested in the background of the bras and panties situation just ask, I'd be happy to explain)
We took them out to a nice cafe and bowling. It was such a special time. Some of them had NEVER been out to eat before. We gave them a price range, and told them they could get whatever they wanted within that. Most of them settled on milkshakes and burgers. One chose to have a shake, and a banana split for lunch. It was great. They walked into the bowling alley wide-eyed because that is not something that they get to do often. A handful of them had never been bowling either. Later on in the week, we arrived at the cottage with the new bras and panties, and I've never seen smiles so big! They were screaming and clapping! It was awesome. They gave Leah and I huge hugs, and we just kept telling them that it was a gift from God and not from us.
Those last few days were probably what I will remember most. It was so sweet to watch them enjoy all of the new experiences. It ripped my heart out watching them cry as we left. I know that God has a plan for each one of those girls and I know that we were just a tiny piece of it. I feel honored that God chose to put them in my life, for these past few months. I really love those girls!
So yeah, that's it. Our P.E. team is home, and the other two teams will be returning in just over a week from now. I might keep this blog up... I might not... only time will tell. But until then. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! for your support over these past 8 months! I couldn't have done it without you!
Let me start this blog in the same place I have started the
past couple of blogs, with an apology for taking so long to update. This
apology is legitimate though...the other times I was just being lazy. This time I
have been at a loss for words and avoiding the internet like a plague, but I
decided it was time to fill everyone in on what has been going on.
I am going to write this from the perspective that you have
no clue what has happened over here and do a little re-cap of the past three
weeks. On April 5th three of my teammates were in a car accident.
Two of them walked away with bumps, bruises, and stitches but the other one,
Sarah Buller passed away. She was 18, turning 19 the next Wednesday on April 8th.We took it pretty hard. I mean she was
basically a sister to us. We shared the same house/room... well life ... for the
past four months. So it was weird to have a hole in our family that could never
be replaced. We had a memorial service for her here, and the following week
they had a service for her in South Dakota.
We had many people in and out of our house that week to
provide support for us, and our leaders. We also had tons of meals provided
which was nice. The following weekend, a decision was made out of the best
interest of our team, to send three other teammates home. They needed to be
with their families for support through this time. This was a shock to us, and
a really confusing time. We came here as a team of 15 including leaders, and
now we are a team of 9! We immediately started asking questions such as "Why
God?!" and "Now what?"
The following week, they ushered us away to the home of an
amazing family in Gordon's Bay, which is just outside of Cape Town.They wanted us to have a place to catch
our breath and process everything that had happened. We spent a lot of time
resting, and digging into what God had next for our new team of six (not
including leaders).I came back a
day before my team, so that I could take my girls from the children's home on a
really fun outing... which I will have to write about later or else this blog
would go on forever. Once everyone got back into P.E. we were able so sit down
as a whole team and discuss the next step, basically do we stay or go?
After a week of inner turmoil and going back and forth, we
finally came to the conclusion that God has said that this season of our lives
is over, and that it is time to come home. We had to fight against the lies and
feelings of "quitting" or "failing" since we aren't staying the full time. God
has taught me SO many lessons in the past three weeks alone, but the main one
is that HE IS IN CONTROL. He makes our schedule and determines our steps, not
us.
At this current point in time I would rather not give
specifics about travel plans and when I will be getting home. These past three
weeks have been hands down the most challenging, and the most emotional weeks
of my life. I am going to need some time to process and reflect and recharge
before I dive back into everyone's lives / "America." I am really excited and
can't wait to talk to all of you, but I just ask that it be on my time. I will
contact you as soon as I am ready.Thank you so much for your prayers and support throughout this year!
I will write another blog
soon to fill you in on how our ministries wrap up and all of the fun things we
were able to do with the girls at the end of our time here.
I apologize for skipping a week of blogging. This is going
to be one of those simple update blogs, so don't expect anything too deep
today. Last week seven people from our Swaziland team came to visit because
they had their Spring Break. It was so good to see our teammates! They had a
lot of encouraging things to say to our team. It was just what we needed. I
took two days off and went to Jeffrey's Bay (where we lived last semester) with
them. It was so nice to be able to relax and catch up with everyone. We spent
some time with team in J-Bay as well. It was like a mini reunion.
We only have about seven weeks left in this country and
three of them are occupied with our spring break, an outreach in Lesotho, and
debrief, which means we have around 15 DAYS of ministry left! That makes me so
sad. I finally feel like we are at a good point with the girls at E.P.They are starting to open up to us and
now we have to leave. It is going to be rough, but we just have to trust God
and his master plan and know that He will be with them when we leave.
I will leave you with a funny story from this week. Every
Monday is our "family night", where our whole team does a fun activity
together. We've gone bowling, played cops and robbers, attended a rugby game,
played family feud, gone to the aquarium, etc... We are also never told what we
are doing until we are about to do it. This past Monday we were told to dress
up in something that your grandma or grandpa would wear. We were all thinking,
"What on earth are they going to make us do?" After dinner we all changed into
our outfits, which were HILARIOUS, and went into the living room to find that
it had been transformed into a bingo hall. We had such a great time playing
bingo, winning prizes such as a bar of soap, yo-yo, pick up sticks, a washcloth, and toothbrush. I have
posted a picture of us as old people if you want to go peek at it.
That's all I have this week. Thanks for all of the comments
and encouragement and prayers throughout the weeks! It really makes a huge
difference!
We have reached the halfway mark of
this semester! It is a bittersweet time. You want to be excited because it is
almost time to go home but you also want to be sad because you have such little
time left in ministry / in South Africa. I'll be back in the great state of
Texas in a mere 65 days! I feel like our team has become a bit lethargic as a
whole. We are slacking with our chores, ministry, loving on each other, just a
passion for things in general. This reminds me of my own walk with the Lord.
Some days I am pumped about Him, and totally living on purpose, and other days,
I couldn't care less and simply go through the motions.
A few weeks ago we did an activity
where we wrote down how we were spending our time each day, for three days. One
of our leaders gave us statistics about how many hours on average the American
spends watching TV, eating, working, sleeping, etc... versus reading their Bible.
It was shocking. It was also very convicting. Just looking at three days of my
life shook me. I waste so much
time doing nothing. It was crazy. As we looked at the lists of our days we were
told to ask these questions, "What if this was your last day on earth? Was is
spent making a difference for the kingdom or was it just another day that you
lived for yourself?" I must say, my days didn't look like much of anything once
you put it in that perspective.
I have to constantly remind myself
that this is a battle. Yes, in terms of spiritual warfare and winning hearts
and souls for Christ, but to put it simply, we are in a daily battle against this
world. If we just go through the
motions, and aren't focused on the prize every day, we are going to lose this
battle. I have to remember to fight even when I don't "feel" like loving God,
or loving people. I (we) must persevere. It is in those moments of complacency
and weakness that I have to force myself to get in the Word and/or seek His
face. I am not even close to having this figured out but I'm working on it. I
feel like that is what is happening amongst our team right now, on a less
dramatic scale of course. Some of us are "fighting" for this team and for each
other, and some of us have given up and are just going through the
motions.
Yesterday, a friend was talking
about crossword puzzles and how gratifying they are when you complete one. She
also mentioned that when it gets difficult and she gets stuck on a word, she
has to persevere through it by trying a different clue (or path). If she just
stopped when they were challenging, she would never finish one and never
experience that sensation of triumph. Silly analogy, but our walk with Christ
is the same. We canNOT give up when we are challenged, or tired or don't feel
like trying anymore.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when
he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised
to those who love him." James 1:12
Your silly prize today for persevering through this blog is
to go look at the new pictures I posted. Enjoy.
Well, we stayed the night in the Walmer township this past
Saturday. It was a very interesting experience. My host home was one of the
nicest homes I've ever been in, in a township. It was 3 bedrooms and had a full
bathtub and toilet and even satellite tv, yes, satellite tv. We did get to
experience authentic food. We had "African Salad" for dinner, which consists of
a maize/cornmeal-ish substance mixed with sour milk. It was potent, for lack of
a better word. I was paired up
with one of our leaders Chelsea and we had the opportunity of sharing a twin
bed together, but that's not a big deal. Some of my other teammates had crazy
stories, a couple people stayed in shacks with no electricity and a bucket for
a toilet. One guy, Kevin, shared a twin size mattress with the father of his
house. It was a really special time though. They were so excited to have us
stay with them. They walked a lot of my teammates around and "showed them off"
to their neighbors.
This week has been good. Our ministry at E.P. Children's
Home is getting better and better each week. The girls are more comfortable
talking with us each day. I don't think we anticipated growing close to the
cottage mother, Tozama, but we have. She is a generous woman with a huge heart!
She invited Leah and I to stay for dinner one night with the girls and taught
us how to make vet koek (pronounced "fet cook" meaning "fat cake") . It is
basically fried dough - absolutely delicious. I will make it for you when I get
home. It was a good time. Last time, I told you that we were going to see some
of the girls in "Little Red Riding Hood", but we weren't able to.
Last night, Sara, Leah, and I were invited to go to "Supper
Club" with, Heloise, the occupational therapist from Algoa Frail Care Center.
We have gotten to know her well since we have been going there since October.
She gets together with a group of her friends every other week to hang out, and
have a good home cooked meal. She wanted us to come so we could have a "truly
South African experience," of course we willingly obliged. They made Pooikie
Kos which is similar to a vegetable and beef stew, except it is cooked in a
huge black cauldron looking pot over hot coals for hours. Part of the "South
African experience" is that the focus is on the socializing and not on the
food. We didn't eat until 11:15 pm, because it had to simmer that long and they
were just hanging out. It was totally worth the wait though. It was really
delicious.
The taxi strike ended last Friday. Everyone was able to
return to work and school, and us to our ministries. It was a complete answer
to prayer. Thanks for those by the way.There is nothing much to report from the week. We went bowling for our
family night on Monday. One of the adult Small Groups from our church came over
and made our whole team dinner on Tuesday. That was a very nice night. We had a
big circle of 24 people in our living room, from different countries, sharing
life together. I loved it.
I'm excited about what God is doing at E.P. Children's Home.
We (Leah, and I) have really connected with our girls in Cottage One this week.
Some of them are going to be in "Little Red Riding Hood" next week at school,
we want to go watch it. I'll let you know, if we do.
Tomorrow night, Saturday, we are all spending the night in
the Walmer township. We will be staying in pairs in different families houses.
It will be an adventure I'm sure. I will have to write more about that later
too.
That's all of I've got for this week. Hope you are well.
Look! It's only been a week since my last post, and what a
week it has been. Monday we went as a team to a restaurant that has internet,
to do some research to go along with what we were discussing in "Crazy Love."
While we were there, we discovered that all of the taxis and busses in the city
were on strike, indefinitely! That is a very common thing for people to do in
South Africa; if the workers aren't getting what they want they go on strike.
It is usually aimed at the government. The fishermen in Jeffrey's Bay (where we
were last semester) have been on strike since last May and are still going
strong!
A taxi / bus strike is a HUGE deal in Port Elizabeth. It is
the main mode of transportation for thousands of people. It helps them get to
and from work, to the store to buy food, get children to school.... Everything. It is
also our main mode of transportation when we go to ministry. The workers
usually become hostile when these things happen, so it is not safe to go into
the townships. We heard reports of bombings, lighting cars on fire, and stoning
cars/people who were providing rides for other people. We have multiple teams
that go into two different townships on a daily basis, but were not able to
this week for safety reasons. All of my ministries carried on as usual because
we walk to E.P. Children's Home since it is in our neighborhood, and our
leaders always drive us to Algoa Frail Care Center, since it is a bit out of
town.
We were able to do our weekly Tuesday morning visit. While
there, we were asking the nurses their stories, and if the taxi situation was
affecting them. They all answered with a resounding, "yes." Some of them got a
group together, to share the cost of hiring a private car. Some of them had
been on the clock for close to 24 hrs, because the next shift of nurses
couldn't make it to work. Some had to sleep there on mattresses on the floor
because they had no way to get home. One woman WALKED over three hours just to
get to work! As we went from ward to ward, each story became more surprising
than the one before it. This is an example of one business place in P.E. Just
think of the thousands of stories there are across the city.
The point of me saying all of that is to try to provide you
with a glimpse of how God moved amongst our team during this situation. We had
no choice but to come together and really intercede on behalf of the city of
Port Elizabeth, and the people in it. We also had to seek out God's will for
our team during this time, since most people couldn't go to their regularly "scheduled"
ministry. We prayed together and worshipped together more this week than we
ever have and it was so special. God has really formed a unique group of people
here.I think it is safe to say
that we truly are a family now.
As of now, Friday morning the busses and a few taxis were running for the first time this week, but there are rumors that come Monday they are going back on strike again. Please, be in prayer for this situation.
Hello hello hello! We are currently reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is
SO good, such an easy read. I encourage EVERYONE to read it. Your life will be
changed just after the first three chapters. This book, combined with other
things going on, has got me doing a heart check. The convicting issue of the
week is, if I have really been living as a disciple of Jesus should be
living.We as "Christians" are
called to such a higher standard of living. How often do we water down the Bible
to make it fit our lifestyle? The verse that was just a small reality check, is
in Matthew 10 where Jesus says: "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will
also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before
men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven."
That is scary. Just stop and think about that verse for a second.
I feel like with all of our little watered down actions, we daily disown Jesus.
How many moments have gone by where you had the chance to speak truth about
God, and you didn't because you didn't want to "make someone uncomfortable" or
you didn't have the time? Jesus always made people uncomfortable. Who cares
what other people think, whether they be your best friend, or a perfect
stranger? I want Jesus to acknowledge me and know my name. I don't want to make
excuses or rationalize my actions anymore! It's not about doing or saying "the
right things" such as going to church, tithing, volunteering, etc... It is a
matter of the heart. It is time to stop acting, and start living like a
disciple of Christ!
And sure it is easy to say,"Ok I'll start this tomorrow" but what if tomorrow never
comes? I mean, I don't want to be morbid but it's a reality..."Why, you do not
even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that
appears for a little while and then vanishes." -James 4:14 Now, in this very
moment, is the time to start living for God and stop living for yourself. "In the same way, any of you who does
not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:33 Jesus asks
for everything from us, but we constantly try to give him less.
This is just a paraphrased glimpse of the book and what God
has been stirring in my heart. I pray that this stirs in yours as well.
We have been here for a little over two weeks now, and it
feels like so much longer because we have already done so much. We went as a
team and visited each of our new ministry partners so we could pray and decide
where to get plugged in. There is so much need in this city. The ministry
opportunities are endless. We narrowed it down to about 10 options. The three
that I landed on are to continue going to Algoa Frail Care Center two days a
week. I will be working at Eastern Province Children's Home, which is an
orphanage with about 105 children. I am really excited. We will do things like
teach them how to swim and play soccer, assist with homework, take them on
small field trips, sort clothes in their secondhand clothing store, and really
just love on them. We will mainly be focused on one cottage of older girls,
instead of being spread thin over the 105. I will also be going to a community
center in the Kwazekhale township and leading Sunday school with some kids
there each Sunday. Luckily, our church has a great evening service so I won't
have to miss out.
That's a bit about what's been going on. Now onto something
that I have been processing this past week, each Saturday afternoon we have
"intentional ministry." That is where we have time to go do extra ministry
somewhere that isn't on our weekly schedule.Last Saturday one of my teammates, Sarah, and I decided to
walk around to our neighbors' houses and offer to do yard work, laundry
washing, car washing, or something of the like. At two different houses we were invited in and offered tea.
We stayed at the first house visiting with Tish for about an hour and then at
the second house we stayed and visited for over two and a half hours! When we
left we felt like we were the ones being ministered too. It was so kind of
these people to drop what they were doing to just sit and be with us. Sarah and
I were talking about what type of responses we would have received if we would
have done that same activity in America. Both families were such great examples
of the way Jesus would treat people. They were so generous with their time and
space, and they offered their homes to us if we ever need anything.In 1 Peter it says, "Offer hospitality
to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has
received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various
forms." I feel like they did exactly that. It was incredible. I want to be like
that when I return to the States, and not full of my old excuses like "The
house is dirty," or "Oh, I was just leaving" or "Come back tomorrow". I want to be willing to drop what I'm
doing and invite people in whenever they knock. I challenge you to start doing
the same.
First, let me apologize for not blogging sooner. I went on "holiday" back to America, and took a small break from my blogging responsibilities, but have no fear I'm back. (Sorta) Our internet capabilities are not as handy as last semester at all, so there is no telling how often I will get a chance to blog.
Secondly, let me just say this isn't going to be a deep well thought out blog. I only have a few minutes in this internet cafe and couldn't bring my laptop, so I'm writing this on the spot.
We moved into our new home in Port Elizabeth (P.E.). We have a wonderful house. We have one large room with 9 bunk beds for all the girls and one bathroom connected to our room. The 3 guys share a room and bathroom, and then there are two other bedrooms and a bathroom for the leaders. We are going to be spending these first two weeks just getting to know this city and bonding as a team. Since, AIM has never had a team in this city we have to figure everything out for ourselves. We also have to search out ministries to be involved in. We visited two of our possible ministry locations today, and we are going to be visiting others throughout the week.
I'm really pumped about this semester. This morning they broke us up into small teams of four, dropped us off in town, and we had to do an A.T.L. (Ask The Lord). Basically, you sit and pray and wait on God to show you where to go and who to talk to. In the middle of that, God just overwhelmed me with how dark this city is, and reminded me of our purpose here. There is SO much work to be done, SO many hearts that are broken and need Jesus. So... yeah.... I'm pumped!